I'm going to do a little repost here, forgive me.
For #BellLetsTalk this year, I shared a little of my story, some of the inspiration behind why this space is so important to me, and also why the theme of positivity plus the creation of a safe space is so important to me.
For a little behind the scene peek into my life, here we go:
I figured this post was fitting as today is #BellLetsTalk.
I want to share my motivations behind starting a blog that focuses on all things positive. I would like to think that I have a relatively unique outlook on the importance of positivity, self-love, and being kind to yourself and others.
The day that I finally realized that I was actually sick went a little like this - I was walking to my car one morning and I suddenly couldn't see. My legs stopped working and I could no longer stand or walk. I lost consciousness. The scariest part was that I was alone. Seconds later, when I woke up, I had to to pick myself up and figure out how make it back into my house. I was scared. Something like that had never really happened before. I had, had moments of faintness when I stood to fast or when I exerted too much energy but for once I couldn't explain this away.
For as long as I can remember, I have had a hard time with food. My parents would worry that I wasn't eating or not eating nearly enough and I always had an explanation at the ready. I could always find ways to skirt their concerns. But things got worse when my parents split up in the sixth grade. I couldn't escape the arguing and I didn't know where or who to turn to for help.
It turns out I made myself my own enemy. I craved acceptance and control. I didn't know how to love myself or feel comfortable in my own skin. When my world felt the most out of control, it felt like I couldn't breath, and I had closed myself off so fiercely that I felt like I had no right to ask or even need help.
Years later and I now I know hope to cope.
I learned that I have an anxiety disorder and anorexia. I spent close to two years in an outpatient treatment program, where I learnt coping skills, how to accept and love myself, and how to deal with my anxiety. A person cannot survive if they are starving themselves nor should anyone feel like they have to or they should be able to. Your body is one of life's greatest gifts that deserves to be nourished and loved. You deserve to be nourished and loved. You are loved.
I still have good days and bad days but overall I spend more days feeling comfortable in my own skin. I'm learning how to be okay with not being able to please everyone and to put myself first.
In my life, it is incredibly important to foster an environment of positivity, self-love, a feeling of safety, and to stand up for myself and my needs. I take my health and my happiness seriously.
Currently, I am not always having good days. But I am able now to wake up and remind myself that today is a new day, a good day, and I have the ability to try and adjust my outlook every morning towards the positive.
I went through some ups and downs this year but this space has always been there for me to look back on or to create within and I am so thankful for it. Having a place that is safe, a place without self doubt, a place that is me down to my core, is a safe haven.
Thank you for sharing this safe haven with me.
Love always,
Laura
Laura
